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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26028934">I'm only honest when it rains</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wexite/pseuds/wexite'>wexite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Hwang Hyunjin are Best Friends, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Vague storyline, college students stray kids, mentions of weed, throwbacks, vague background story</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:16:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26028934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wexite/pseuds/wexite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Y-you don’t even know why you-you don’t understand,” Jisung replies, sounding defeated. </p><p>This time, Hyunjin separates himself a little from Jisung, holds his jaw with his hand and lifts his face up, so they’re facing each other. “I do, I-I know it seems like I’ve taken you for granted and I know I’ve been spending more time with Beomgyu, b-but you’re still my best friend.” </p><p>“See? You don’t get it.”</p><p>-</p><p>Alternatively: Hyunjin and Jisung get into a fight on a rainy day, in a strange city. And Jisung wonders whether or not he should finally let Hyunjin know that he's in love with him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Han Jisung | Han &amp; Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>161</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. ♡︎</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It's finally here! I had so much fun writing this one-shot &lt;3 surprisingly I wrote it way too fast (I'm a very slow writer) and it's also my first stray kids work so please bare with me lol<br/>This is basically all hurt and confusion and then pure fluff.<br/>It's written from both Hyunjin and Jisung's POV, I hope it's not too confusing:(<br/>.<br/>.<br/>Special thanks to my beloved friend Eva who took the time to beta read this before it was posted &lt;3<br/>.<br/>.<br/>Enjoy! :D</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Go with me, please?” Hyunjin says the discouragement is more than notorious in his voice. He extends his hand for Jisung to take it, but the latter does nothing except to ignore it.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to,” Jisung says, crossing his arms and pouting as he looks the other way.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop being so stubborn.” </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to be with you, I came because Changbin Hyung forced me, not because of you. Now go, I’ll wait here, and we’ll go up together when you return.”</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin squats down, his arms hanging over his knees and looks up to Jisung who is sitting on the second step of the stairs. “Are you going to let me go alone?”</p><p> </p><p>The blue-haired man replies only with a nod, not looking at his friend even once.</p><p> </p><p>“At this hour and in this strange city? It also looks like it’s going to rain.” The blonde man tries again. “You really don’t care?”</p><p> </p><p>Anxious and annoyed, Jisung starts bouncing his right leg relentlessly and biting his nails. He doesn’t want to confront Hyunjin, and he’s scared that if they’re left alone —just the two of them— for too long a conversation about what’s bothering him might come up.</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin looks at him with both frustration and guilt in his eyes. He knows Jisung, and he’s certain that the younger wouldn’t treat him like this unless he was upset about something Hyunjin said or did, something that<em> really </em> hurt him. </p><p>It sucks to see his best friend in this state. Hyunjin can see how much pressure and anxiety the situation is causing him, and the last thing he wants to do is make things even worse. </p><p>With a sigh, he stands up and throws his head back, massaging his temple and thinking about what to do.</p><p> </p><p>“Go back.” He says after a few seconds.</p><p> </p><p>Jisung finally looks back at him, confusion in his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“What? You don’t want to come, you don’t want to be with me, and I won’t force you. Go back and tell Hyung I decided to go alone.” With that said, he turns around and starts walking towards the exit of the building.</p><p> </p><p>Jisung abruptly stands up once he sees Hyunjin leave the building. He stays there, paralyzed for a few seconds, not knowing what to do. His heart clenches at the scary thought of the reason behind his behavior being discovered, and yes, he prefers not to be left alone with Hyunjin for the time being, but at the same time he feels guilty for letting him go on a drive alone to god knows where and for god knows how long. He bounces slightly without moving from his original spot, debating whether or not he will be able to go through the entire ride without having to talk to Hyunjin. </p><p> </p><p>“Fuck.” Jisung says as he starts running towards the street, hoping he can still find the blond-haired man.</p><p> </p><p>It’s dark outside. The sky is clouded, just as Hyunjin said, it looks like it’s going to rain soon. Unluckily, there are not many lamps near, so he struggles to localize his friend for a few moments, that is until the alarm of the car beeping reaches his ears. He instantly heads to the barely illuminated alley where the sound comes from.</p><p> </p><p>He finally spots Hyunjin standing next to the car, keys in his hand, forehead resting against the car’s door; looking defeated. Slowly, he walks to him and gently touches his shoulder.</p><p>Startled because he didn’t hear Jisung coming, Hyunjin’s body jolts and he lets out a short whimper that the blue-haired man can barely let pass without giggling. </p><p> </p><p>“W-what are you doing here?”</p><p> </p><p>Jisung doesn’t want to tell him he felt terrible for letting him go alone, or that he was worried about him. Actually, he doesn’t want  to say anything at all. Still he has to, so he lies. “They didn’t let me stay.” Trying to avoid a conversation to develop, he rushes to the other side and hops into the passenger seat without saying more.</p><p> </p><p>Outside the car, Hyunjin stands frozen and looks at him through the window. Jisung can feel his gaze on him, and it makes him feel weird, so he turns his head to the side intending to tell Hyunjin to hurry up but making their eyes meet instead. The small smile on the blonde’s face takes him by surprise, making his cheeks turn bright red. Embarrassed, he turns his back on Hyunjin once again and looks outside his own window trying to hide his face. </p><p> </p><p>Almost immediately after, the blonde man gets in the car. Thankfully he doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t even try to break the silence or tease him although he can obviously see Jisung’s reddened ears. Instead, he turns on the engine right away and starts driving. </p><p> </p><p>Throughout the first ten minutes everything goes as planned. Jisung completely avoids looking at Hyunjin even when he feels the other glancing at him every now and then, with that nervous look in his eyes. A few times now, he’s noticed Hyunjin biting his lips too, and what does that mean to Jisung? It means danger. Hyunjin is thinking, Jisung knows it, he knows the blonde is trying to figure out what he did for things to turn out like this. And saying that makes him anxious is an understatement. He can only pray they find a convenience store quickly and go back to the apartment before Hyunjin figures out why he’s upset and tries to talk about it. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Where did everything start? When did Jisung get upset? What was the first weird thing he did? How did he not notice before? How long has this been going? And even more questions arise all at once in Hyunjin’s mind as he drives through the empty and obscure streets of the unknown city. He tries to focus on the road and on his thoughts at the same time, but it’s too hard, he can’t pay enough attention to any of the two, and it’s making him feel nervous. </p><p> </p><p>As he makes sure that there are no more cars on the road, he steals short glances at Jisung and tries to figure out the emotions his heart hides. Before, he could tell that the blue-haired man was hurt, not angry at him, just hurt, which is honestly way worse than when he gets angry. </p><p>In the past, they’ve fought a lot and even though it might seem like a serious thing the truth is they got angry at the smallest and most insignificant things. So it was always easy to find a middle ground and reconcile for them. Actually, if Hyunjin remembers correctly, they were never on bad terms for more than a day. Except, of course, for that one time when they were kids, and Hyunjin made Jisung feel hurt because he didn’t congratulate him on his birthday. And even if that’s his only experience dealing with a hurt Jisung, it was heartbreaking enough for him to never want to hurt his best friend.</p><p> </p><p>Without noticing, he’s started biting his lips out of anxiousness. He only becomes aware of it when he tastes the faint hint of blood on the tip of his tongue. “Fuck.” He says loudly enough for Jisung to actually look at him for the first time since they started driving. </p><p> </p><p>Hurriedly, Jisung opens the glove box, takes out a tissue and hands it to Hyunjin who grabs it carefully and whispers a quiet “thank you”.</p><p> </p><p>“No need to thank, right? I always do those things for you.” The blue-haired man says before he goes back to pretending the blonde doesn’t exist.</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin doesn’t even get the time to reply, but Jisung’s words start resonating again and again inside his brain like some kind of riddle guaranteed to drive him crazy if he doesn’t hurry and solve it <em> now </em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, there’s a convenience store.” Jisung’s voice reaches his ears again, he sounds so relieved it kind of hurts Hyunjin. He makes it so obvious and noticeable he wants to be away from him as soon as possible.</p><p> </p><p>“Right, I’ll pull over,” Hyunjin says, doing exactly so after driving for a few more meters. He looks at Jisung as he unfastens his seat belt. “Do you want me to-”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I can go alone. We just need a few things anyway.” The blue-haired replies black without letting him finish his question. Then, he gets off and runs to the small store.</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin is left alone inside the car. He wisely takes the opportunity without any distractions, concentrating solely on remembering everything he’s done the past week.Trying to answer each one of his questions one by one.</p><p> </p><p>One: what was the first weird thing that Jisung did this week? He quickly examines all his exchanges with him throughout the week and is quick to find the first red flag now that he sits to reflect on it. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Beomgyu-ah! You’re the best! Thank you so much!” Hyunjin shouted, hugging Beomgyu and pinching his cheeks.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "Ah! Just take it, Hyung!" Beomgyu replied shyly and shoved the little lunch box aggressively against Hyunjin's chest.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hyunjin took the box and opened it, looking even more amazed and moved when he saw the very tasty-looking food inside. "Jisung-ah! Look at this, isn't it cute? Beomgyu brought me lunch since he knew I was short in money this week."  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Jisung looked at him over his shoulder "yeah, he's the best." he said just to go right back to reading.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>At that time, Hyunjin thought that the way he replied was off, he seemed annoyed, but the blonde assumed he was stressed because of school and didn't look further into it. </p><p> </p><p>Two: when did everything start? Even if that Tuesday was the first day Jisung’s actions screamed something was wrong, that couldn’t possibly be the day it all started. Jisung would’ve started feeling upset much earlier since he’s not the type to show his true feelings right away. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Jisung-ah, do you know that new kid in our music club?”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Choi Beomgyu?” Jisung looked up to Hyunjin who wore a smile on his face as he looked at the phone he held in his left hand, the right one being busy stroking Jisung’s blue hair.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Mhm. We’ve been talking a lot recently.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Oh, did you two exchange numbers already?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Well he texted me first, I guess he took my number from the group chat. He just wanted to borrow some music sheets from me, but we kept texting.It turns out we have a lot in common.” Hyunjin locked his phone and looked down to Jisung whose head rested against the blonde’s chest. He had a barely visible frown on his face, Hyunjin didn’t give it much thought. “I think he’s adorable. He came to bring me snacks after some of my classes, and he asks me how I’m feeling every day.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “He sounds like a perfect friend,” Jisung said right before closing his eyes and turning around on the bed. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Why are you moving?” Hyunjin whined. “Come back, I want to hug you.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I’m tired,” Jisung replied without bothering to look back at Hyunjin who lay next to him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I can still hug you if you sleep.” Hyunjin waited for a few minutes, but there was no response from his blue-haired friend. “Ah, Jisung-ah, don’t ignore me.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Shut up, I’m sleeping.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That was the first time after years that Jisung rejected being hugged by Hyunjin. It surely seemed strange, but since there was no more weird behavior right after that, Hyunjin didn’t take it into consideration. Was that the very beginning? But why? What changed? Between all those small events which had caught Hyunjin's attention but he wasn’t careful enough to look into, what was the common factor when they all occurred?</p><p> </p><p>“Do you have a towel?” </p><p> </p><p>Jisung’s voice and the sound of the car door being shut are what take Hyunjin out of his thoughts and make him snap back to reality. He looks at his friend whose hair and clothes are soaking wet. Quickly he spares a glance outside the window behind Jisung and notices the heavy rain for the first time since he pulled over.</p><p> </p><p>“It's raining.” He says, hypnotized by the sound of the water falling outside and hitting the car’s windows harshly.</p><p> </p><p>“No shit Sherlock.” </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin looks back at him and apologizes quickly. He stretches his right arm, trying to reach a small towel he keeps at the back of the car just in case. Handing it to Jisung who practically snatches it from his fingers and doesn’t even thank him. </p><p>The blonde looks at him as he wipes his face and rubs his hair.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you cold?” He asks, holding the zipper of his own jacket, ready to take it off.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m okay. Aren’t you going to drive?”</p><p> </p><p>There it is again, that attitude Hyunjin hates so much. It doesn’t hurt him much that Jisung is being disrespectful to him because he knows this isn’t<em> really </em> Jisung. This is the hurt version of him; but still, he hates it so much more because he knows <em> he </em>is the reason his best friend is upset. </p><p>He looks at Jisung, frowning, trying hard to figure out why the hell he is being like this without actually having to ask because he knows the blue-haired man won’t answer.</p><p> </p><p>“What? Now you’re mad at me?”</p><p> </p><p>He becomes conscious of his facial expression and changes it right away. “No, sorry.” It’s all he says before starting the engine again and starts driving towards the way they came from.</p><p>Minutes pass and the tension inside the car is becoming more and more suffocating. Outside the rain doesn’t stop and at least the constant sound of the rain makes the silence less consuming. Hyunjin needs to solve this, and he needs to do it before they’re back in the apartment. Because once they’re with the others, Jisung will stick to someone else and use anything or anyone as an excuse not to talk to him.</p><p> </p><p>A common factor, a common factor, a comm-</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, right, your phone,” Jisung says next to him. He’s holding Hyunjin’s phone in his hand and looks annoyed. “I unintentionally took it instead of mine, and it keeps buzzing. You’ve got like a thousand texts from your best friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin takes it hurriedly, arching one of his eyebrows at the other’s words. He looks at the road once again and as soon as he's made sure no cars are driving near he spares a quick glance to the lit-up screen of his phone. </p><p> </p><p>From Beomgyu-ah: Hyung, did you see this? I think you’d love it, it’s a song that…</p><p> </p><p>A common factor. Hyunjin thinks again as he locks his screen. <em> A common factor </em>, he thinks again, and then, it hits him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No need to thank, right? I always do these things for you.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah, he’s the best.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “He sounds like a perfect friend.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “From your best friend.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Beomgyu," Hyunjin whispers unconsciously. </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, him." </p><p> </p><p>Looking back at the days prior to Jisung’s weird behavior, the only thing that changed in their environment was Beomgyu’s presence. Hyunjin had been spending more time with him than with his actual best friend and honest to god, he can say it wasn’t on purpose. To Hyunjin having a new younger friend to take care of and teach things to was really exciting. It gave him a new purpose and motivation to be better. So maybe he did get a little too invested in his new friendship with the younger boy, leaving other things —and people—behind. </p><p> </p><p>As he re-thinks his actions this past week, he realizes that maybe the problem relies on the fact that he’s taken Jisung for granted. Both of them have been friends for as long as they can remember. Jisung is imprinted in all of Hyunjin’s memories. He was there when the blonde lost his first tooth, on their first day of school, on every single one of his birthdays; all of his happiest memories are upholstered with Jisung’s presence. And so, all of the things the blue-haired man has done for him seem so common and familiar that Hyunjin has unintentionally taken away some of the value that came to them the first few times they occurred. </p><p> </p><p>He looks to the side, not even trying to hide it this time, and scans Jisung’s face slowly, and carefully. The nervousness is notoriously manifested in his unfocused gaze and shaky legs.</p><p> </p><p>If the mood was gloomy and tense before, now it is worse. Outside the rain falls as if the sky was crying for them and how things have turned to dust in a few days. How did everything come to this, to the point where Jisung ignores him, talks to him disrespectfully, doesn’t want to spend time with him alone, doesn’t even want to <em> see </em>him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I fucked up. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin feels a knot forming inside his throat, and his vision becomes suddenly blurry. The thought of things changing this drastically between them and the possibility of their relationship not being flexible might seem exaggerated but inside Hyunjin’s mind the very “if” of the situation is enough to feel like he’ll crumble to the ground.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, look at the road, you’ll kill-” </p><p> </p><p>Jisung’s words are interrupted by Hyunjin who, instead of doing what he’s supposed to, looks to the side. His teary eyes perfectly align with Jisung’s. “Jisung-ah.” </p><p> </p><p><em> Shit. </em>Jisung thinks. He can’t even take his own gaze away from Hyunjin’s tender eyes. Even when he tries, he doesn’t even blink, he keeps looking at Hyunjin. </p><p>Mere seconds pass, but for both of them, it feels like ages until the blue-haired man finally breaks the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop the car,” is everything Jisung’s panicked self can think of to say.</p><p> </p><p>Taken aback by the sudden order Hyunjin only stares at him confused, then looks at the road and back at Jisung again. </p><p> </p><p>“I said, stop!” The blue-haired man screams as his eyes start filling with tears too.</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin stops the car on the side of the road, just a few meters before the entrance to a small beach. It hasn’t stopped raining, and it feels like the sky is about to fall to pieces and crush the entire city. </p><p>With the raging storm outside the car and the uncertainty of where to go Jisung just gets out of the vehicle and starts running towards the deserted beach.</p><p> </p><p>“Jis-fuck, fuck, fuck.” Hyunjin says as he hurriedly unfastens his seatbelt, grabs the car’s keys and starts running into the same direction Jisung does. </p><p>Both the tears falling from his eyes and the rain falling all over him make it almost impossible to see the path he’s running down on. Add to that the excessively wet sand which makes his feet burry down and forces him to use an excessive amount of strength to reach Jisung.</p><p> </p><p>He keeps on screaming Jisung’s name.Even though he knows the latter might not hear his weak voice among all the other sounds surrounding them: the rain, the thunder and the ocean breaking against the seashore. His legs and throat both start burning, but even when he feels like he’ll pass out, there’s only one thing on his mind: stopping Jisung from leaving him.</p><p> </p><p>Just before his legs finally give in, the blurry human figure in front of him stops moving. Trying to recover his breathing and vision by wiping his already reddened eyes, he slowly approaches Jisung. </p><p>“Jisung-ah,” He says again, gentler this time, realizing he has been screaming for way too long.</p><p> </p><p>Jisung turns around and breaks down as soon as their eyes meet. He starts crying loudly, and Hyunjin’s instincts make him move closer and just <em> hold him </em>.</p><p>The blue-haired man cries and clings to Hyunjin’s jacket, holding it tightly as if he would disappear if he lets go of the soaked fabric. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t w-want to be with you! L-leave me alone!” He says although he doesn’t physically push his friend away. </p><p> </p><p>And Hyunjin gets it, he completely understands the conflict Jisung might be going through right now, that he might’ve been going through for way longer than the blonde thinks. So he holds him tighter, closer to his chest and caresses his back and head with his hands. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, Jisung-ah, I’m so sorry.” He says between his own sobs. </p><p> </p><p>“Y-you don’t even know why you-you don’t understand,” Jisung replies, sounding defeated. </p><p> </p><p>This time, Hyunjin separates himself a little from Jisung, holds his jaw with his hand and lifts his face up, so they’re facing each other. “I do, I-I know it seems like I’ve taken you for granted and I know I’ve been spending more time with Beomgyu, b-but you’re still my best friend.” </p><p> </p><p>Unexpectedly Jisung scoffs. He starts laughing in a way that Hyunjin had never heard before, but it makes his heart ache.</p><p> </p><p>“See? You don’t get it.”</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin looks at him, puzzled. There's no way this is not the reason Jisung was upset, Hyunjin is certain about it. Or maybe, rather than the origin, this was just the blowing point. If it was, then, what is it? What is he missing? What is it that he doesn’t see? </p><p> </p><p>Jisung let's go of him finally, and even though Hyunjin wants to pull him back again, he doesn't because he <em> sees </em> him, and he <em> understands </em>.</p><p>Jisung keeps crying, but he's somehow calmer now, just like the storm. And now both the raindrops and his tears fall slower and gentler, barely noticeable anymore, but still <em> there </em>. </p><p> </p><p>The look on the blue-haired man's faces makes Hyunjin's heart clench, the pain feels so real that he even places his hand over his own chest and the muscles on his own face twist. </p><p> </p><p>"W-why, then, why?" He whispers in disbelief. </p><p> </p><p>Jisung shakes his head slightly and then lets his own body drop on the hardened sand. He crosses his legs and taps the empty place next to him, inviting the blonde to sit. </p><p> </p><p>"I'll get my butt wet," Hyunjin says. </p><p> </p><p>And for the first time in a few days, Jisung sincerely smiles at him, fuck that, he laughs, and the other can't help but smile back at him. </p><p> </p><p>"I don't think you can get more soaked than you already are." </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin gives up and sits next to Jisung, getting as close as he thinks he can without making the other uncomfortable. He doesn't talk, even if he wants to ask a million things right now, he knows he's put the blue-haired man under too much stress already. Now that he's not as worked up as before Hyunjin doesn't want to mess up again, so he waits. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Jisung looks to the vast sea in front of him. The lack of light and the rain make the line between the water and the sky disappear. Infinite, Jisung thinks as he stares into the darkness and allows himself to just <em> think </em> before he says anything to Hyunjin. </p><p> </p><p>Even though he's barely crying anymore and his breathing is stable again, Jisung feels more scared now than before. Because he is grounded enough to actually give the whole situation some thought. He knows things are already fucked up between him and Hyunjin. The questions now are what should he say next and if their relationship will be fixed or completely destroyed after that. </p><p> </p><p><em> I like you. </em>Would be the truth. But the truth is risky. Not because Jisung will be accidentally revealing his sexuality, no, Hyunjin has known about it for way too long. He never had a problem with it, a few months after Jisung came out to him, Hyunjin did too, so that's —thankfully— not one of his fears right now. </p><p> </p><p>The way Jisung sees it, there are only two possibilities if he decides to confess. One, Hyunjin rejects him —gently because he's that kind of person— and tries to stay as friends, which ultimately would result in Jisung suffering, not forever maybe, but for long, that's sure. Or two, Hyunjin accepts his confession, and they start dating, which could also result in either being amazing or horrible. If things go right, they'd be happy, but if things go wrong, they might end up exiting each other's lives and never meet again. </p><p> </p><p>Fifty-fifty is the percentage of possibilities for each one of those options. Which to be honest is not much of an optimistic result when one of the possible results is them losing each other forever. </p><p> </p><p>Then, on the other side, Jisung has the option to lie, to make up a story about how he's been stressed and Hyunjin hasn't been there much for him lately which the blonde might believe. But then, Jisung will have to keep his feelings to himself for god knows how long, and he doesn't know if he will be able to do so. </p><p> </p><p>He sighs as he massages his temple with long and cold fingers. His eyes close for a few seconds before he dares to look at Hyunjin once again. The blue-haired man finds his friend staring back at him, waiting. </p><p> </p><p><em> Infinite. </em>Jisung thinks again as he looks into his friend's eyes. And then an old and seemingly forgotten memory pops up in his mind. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "If you could live for an infinite amount of time, would you do it?" Hyunjin asked Jisung on a summer day of their junior high school days.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The blue-haired man thought of it for a few minutes before answering what he truly felt at that moment. "I wouldn't."  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "Why?" The blonde yelled, sounding extremely offended.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "What if I have to live a sad and miserable life for eternity?"  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "But what if you're happy ever after?"  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Jisung looked back at him and laughed. "Do you know how slight the possibility of that happening is?"  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And even when Jisung took the question as a joke, Hyunjin looked serious like few times that day. "But even if there's just a small chance, wouldn't you risk it? Happiness might not be an easy thing to find, but that makes it even more special, no? You should take every opportunity you get to find such special and rare things."  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He scoffs at the fact that he's remembering this in such a moment. And even if in those years he used to disagree a lot with his best friend and thought he was nothing but a hopeless dreamer, he now realizes how right he used to be at times. </p><p> </p><p>"Hyunjinie." He starts, still afraid, but this time determined to risk it all for <em> his </em> special and rare <em> person </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin nods without saying anything else, just waiting for whatever Jisung needs to tell him and the latter feels thankful for that. </p><p> </p><p>"I li-" He stops for a moment and thinks. If he's going to do it, he has to do it right, without any regrets. So he moves closer to the blonde and cups his face with his hands. "I love you. And I don't mean as a friend, what I really mean is, I'm in love with you." </p><p> </p><p>Even with his puffy eyes and now bright red face, Jisung doesn't look away. He analyzes all of Hyunjin's facial features looking for any kind of disgust or rejection. But just like every time he's confessed anything important and meaningful to him, Jisung finds nothing but tenderness, understanding and love, god, he once again finds <em> love. </em></p><p> </p><p>"Can I kiss you?" Hyunjin asks, taking Jisung by surprise. </p><p>But even so, he nods, slowly and closes his eyes as the blonde gets closer to him. </p><p>Soon he feels Hyunjin's soft and full lips against his. And his heart starts beating like crazy inside his ribcage as if it's about to burst. </p><p> </p><p>Jisung wouldn't be able to count all the times he's been held by Hyunjin or kissed by him —not in the lips of course. But right now, as the blonde's arms are wrapped around his waist, and their lips dance together so perfectly, Jisung can surely say that he's never felt closer to his friend and that he's never felt warmer. </p><p> </p><p>After a few more minutes, both of them break apart and look at each other, shyly but with love in their eyes. </p><p> </p><p>"So, y-you love me too?" The blue-haired man says hesitantly. </p><p> </p><p>"You're the cutest," Hyunjin says as he bends forward to kiss the tip of Jisung's nose. "Actually, I had never asked myself why being with you felt different from being with other friends. But as soon as you said it, I understood," He pulls Jisung even closer and plants another kiss on his forehead. "you and me, we're meant for each other. What else could that thing I see every time I look into your eyes be if it's not love?" </p><p> </p><p>"I think I'm going to cry again." </p><p> </p><p>"Wait, cry after this," Hyunjin says as he stands up and helps the other to do so as well. Then, he holds both his hands and intertwines their fingers. "Han Jisung," </p><p> </p><p>"Shut up." </p><p> </p><p>"Would you," </p><p> </p><p>"Shut up, shut up," Jisung says with a wide smile on his face and happy tears forming in the corner of his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>"Be my boyfriend?" Hyunjin finally asks. </p><p> </p><p>Without a moment of doubt, Jisung answers with an enthusiastic "yes".</p><p>Once again, he remembers Hyunjin's words from the past. <em> Even if there's just a small chance. </em>And he scoffs because he would've never guessed that a fifty percent chance would be so great and that risking everything for love and happiness might be worth the try. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. ♡︎</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A super short edited out scene from this one-shot that I totally just randomly added because why not.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Fucking finally! What took you guys so long?" Changbin says as he practically snatches the food bags from Hyunjin's hands.</p><p>"We almost starved to death, you've been out for an hour." Felix continues to whine, following Changbin to the kitchen.</p><p>"But why are you guys soaked?" Seungmin asks concerned, at the same time he runs to the bathroom to get towels for his friends.</p><p>Hyunjin and Jisung giggle to themselves and intertwine their fingers once again now that their hands are free.</p><p>"Wait, both your eyes are red, and your faces are puffed," Chan starts saying as he walks closer to the two men, followed closely by Minho. "you took an hour to come back even though you were just supposed to buy a few things, your clothes are soaked, and you have sand on them."</p><p>"No way," Minho shouts so loud that Chan, who is the closest to him cringes and covers his ears immediately. "You two smoked weed on the beach while it was raining?"</p><p>Chan slaps his own face and shoots Minho a deadly glare before looking back at Jisung and Hyunjin again. "Last but not least you're holding hands in a different way today so that can only mean-"</p><p>"That you stopped being oblivious and are finally dating," Jongin says, cutting Chan's words off and making everyone else gasp in both realization and surprise.</p><p>"How did you-" Both Jisung and Hyunjin start asking but get interrupted by their friends congratulating them and bombarding them with questions.</p><p><br/>They try their best to answer all of them as honestly and concisely as they can. And every time they say anything slightly romantic, everyone coos at them. It's nice, no, it's magical, to love and to be loved back.</p><p><br/>Both of them would never wish to have something other than what they have now. Actually, what they have had for as long as they can remember, and that they can, hopefully, keep forever.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>again, thank you for reading! :D</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please let me know if you enjoyed this, your kudos and comments give me the inspiration to keep writing! Wether it's a compliment or constructive criticism (as long as you're kind) both are always welcomed &lt;3<br/>If you want to talk to me or follow me m y twitter is auroralixie!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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